Through the feminine, life is birthed.
What does that mean? It means the potential for change and creation exists within the very fabric of the feminine nature, where potential is rich and eager to exist.
We focus entirely too much on the toxic masculine, or as I’d like us to collectively rephrase, the wounded masculine. As though we had forgotten the depth of our power and relinquished it to a force outside ourselves that essentially we held more powerful than us. Bullshit. Sorry not sorry, but girl, who are we playing?
And let me just be clear here, this is not and never was meant to be the war of “us versus them.” We are yin and yang, a team, two parts of a whole with bits of another immersed within the other to varying degrees.
Far too often we place our blame on the other for the reasons we ache and sore. Yet, we are relinquishing our power with just this idea alone. That makes the bigger question, how do we reclaim our power? By just that – proclaiming it in everything we do. In every relationship, action, or thought, we get to move from our place of power. How do we go deeper with this idea? By identifying everything that has been collectively holding back the Wounded Feminine.
What is the Wounded Feminine?
It is the aspect of our feminine nature that has been hurt by societal, personal, and global structures, ideas, and systems that have acted to suppress our divine nature. Whether it be the way we were spoken to, how we were treated, messages we received from media, or likely some unmet needs as we were growing up. Some part of our feminine nature did what it does and took that in as something we needed to care for, like the good girls we are. Yet harboring the weight, pain, and discomfort of others’ ideas of who we should be contorted us until we could no longer recognize who we were.
What furthered this dynamic was how we endlessly entertained trying to be seen for who we were, by attempting to appease the endless demands of our heart, mind, body, and soul that at times never felt enough for others to make us feel the depth of value and worthiness we essentially were seeking. So we blamed ourselves, for the exhaustion of our finite resources which were our time, energy, and love. If only we were better things would have turned out differently.
That is where we get to shift our paradigm powerfully.
The Divine Feminine
Who is she?
They whisper in her presence. She is both fierce and soft, powerful, yet gentle, chaotic and perfection, the smell of smoke and roses all rolled in one. Often one to intimidate others in her presence for she is unapologetic, daring, passionate, and capable of carving through mountains solely by flowing in her essence. No surprise she is a spectacle of humanity and has long been feared as her love is a force, yet equal to her wrath.
How can one woman contain so many parts, each surfacing as light refracted through a diamond that is her soul, there are so many colors to her beauty.
This is the key, we all have both light and dark feminine aspects (more on this another time). Too long have we catered to the fairytale princess version of ourselves believing this would attract our happily ever after – but as many of us found after certainly trying, it didn’t always work out for us. In fact, many took advantage of just about every aspect of us they could. And we had let it make us bitter, didn’t we? How could they not see our sparkle, the glow that came from a heart so big, it must be us. We weren’t enough, or perhaps we were too much.
So, what’s the truth of it?
We are everything but often shun the sides of ourselves that had been deemed less favorable. And well that’s just a damned trap because the messaging we have received for some time has taught us that who we were was detestable. From the history of hysteria to women only just getting credit card rights in the last 49 years – our power has long been structurally dismantled. Yet we have continued to etch our way toward empowerment and we get to own that.
“There is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”
― A Room of One’s Own
The Divine Feminine is the goddess who has taken time to be with herself and released the multitude of beliefs, stories, and ideas that aimed to break her. She explores the shadows of her soul and leaves no corner unexamined. Like water, she flows through life with grace and can cascade down a waterfall or grace us from the heavens with a double rainbow to boot – and she has deep trust that both are a divine appointment. She trusts herself deeply, which pours into all aspects of life and is apparent in how she holds herself. There is no need for her to be anything but present.
Through this ability to show up in her fullness and decline that which does not rise to meet her, she single-handedly sets forth a wave of change through the ethers. Every “no,” or standard that she sets, a splash turned into a tsunami of change. Will it be easy? It could be. It could get real simple. For instance, in my circle I have a firm upholding of values I hold dear; love, kindness, and respect. Simple, and if crossed I communicated that standard. If there is a disagreement, it is up to me to enforce the importance of this culture being instilled in my life. The result? My happiness, ultimately.
When we start to set the tone for how we wish to be treated, the effects can happen instantaneously. Self-respect speaks for itself if we’re being honest.
I’m going to bring this back to some basic Chinese Medicine principles. Yin, the feminine, is the fluid-like nature of a river, Yang, the movement, is the masculine. We have an understanding that if the river runs dry, there is nowhere for the Yang to anchor. So it runs amuck. This is the toxic, eh-hmm, wounded masculine. Unanchored Yang with nowhere to land. If we want a place for the Healthy Divine Masculine to be held, it needs that nourished Yin, or Healthy Divine Feminine. Are you starting to see the bigger picture?
If you are then you see this is HUGE.
The best thing the wounded feminine, or barren riverbed, can do – is to nourish herself back to the bountiful presence that is a flowing river waiting to feel alive once more. Taking care of your needs, welcoming all of you, and deeply loving yourself is literally the answer to all your heart yearns for.
Only when the Divine Feminine returns to her eminence will the world know peace and balance.
And listen, this is no competition, but a dance with the Divine Masculine. He is equally a part of this dance, and, needing to acknowledge and heal his wounds too. This is a team effort, we are here to walk each other home, as they say.
All of this beauty, love, and return to Sacred Union can only be attained when we first acknowledge, we are wounded. And rather than blame, shame or guilt the world around us – it is time we turn within and spend the intimate time we have been craving from others, with ourselves.
Healing comes from within.
Yesterday wasn’t soon enough.
And today isn’t too late.
Go on Beauty, the next step is yours.
by Tifanie Mayberry
Mentor, Healer and Founder
of Beautiful Wild Woman, a coaching business built to serve women in their 20’s-40’s to discover their deepest embodied Self Love. She has led hundreds women in discovering their identity, strength, and purpose through her extensive toolkit. With a background in Feminist Studies, Naturopathic Medicine, Classical Chinese Medicine, Spiritually Advising, Hairdressing, Mentoring, and her work as a Camp Counselor – she has an incredible arsenal of ways to support holistic healing and growth.